Why It’s Okay to Have a Bad Day

IMG_0017I’ve got resting bitch face. I know this about myself, because I see it every morning in the mirror when I first wake up. Also, I have an almost violent aversion to people who say “You’d be so pretty if you just smiled more!” (Important memo: don’t ever say that to anyone, ever. Especially not to me.) To solve this, I try to smile. I smile when I’m driving. I try to smile even when I’m taking out the garbage. In fact, to fight the depression that’s part of my chemical DNA I’ll surely fight for the rest of my life, I’ve made a habit of “looking on the bright side” of almost every situation. I try my hardest to combat sadness and negativity in my life. It’s just what I do.

But sometimes, you just have a bad day. I’ve had a bad couple of days. I attended a funeral of a person I wasn’t ready to say good-bye to, then I fought with someone I love, then caught one of my kids in a lie. It felt like the universe was punching me in the gut a little.

And I’m writing about this because I know everyone who reads this has felt this way from time to time. Sometimes, things just suck. Sometimes, we just need to allow ourselves the luxury of saying, “This sucks. I don’t feel good about it.”

I have a wise friend who just knew she should text me today and check in. For some reason, I decided just to be truthful. “I’m sad,” I told her. “I’m really struggling. I’m a crying mess.”

Turns out, she was having a bad day, too. She told me that sometimes, uncensored journaling is the best thing. Actually, she called it the more aptly named “Verbal Vomit.” Guess what? I did it. I verbally vomited at my laptop for two aggressively incoherent pages. I’ll probably never go back and read it. But somehow, I feel better. It’s out of my system.

It made me want to compile a list of things I can do that usually make myself feel better. If you have a day that sucks, I hope you have a list like this for yourself. I also hope you have a very wise friend who knows just the right time to text or call you.

Things I Can Do to Make a Day Suck Less

  1. Journal (a.k.a. “Verbal Vomiting”)
  2. Take a nap (but limit your time—then get up, and get dressed)
  3. Walk in a beautiful place, even if you have to drive to get there (extra points if you take the dog)
  4. Bake something (bread, chocolate, or cinnamon result in the best aromatherapy)
  5. Watch a really sad movie and cry about that
  6. Smile—you’d be so pretty if you smiled more! (Just kidding—only smile if you want to. You’re beautiful no matter what.)

2 thoughts on “Why It’s Okay to Have a Bad Day

  1. Cheryl August 28, 2017 / 1:47 pm

    I just love the way you say what we all have though and experienced, but have pushed down, thrown back, and tried to ignore about ourselves and our feelings.
    I was once told that I smile and laugh TOO MUCH! Well, I can tell you I felt that deep down to my toes. Being able to express my own happiness and my own sadness – which now meant that I couldn’t smile [at work] anymore was an unprecidented moment in my life. I am sad to say that this wasn’t the first time that I thought that I had to change for someone else. Thankfully I no loner have these people in my life and I have learned that my bad days and my good days are mine and that I should try to live them that way. Days that suck are just that as you say “Sucky”. My “sucky” days are usually a signal that I need to slow down and take a look at how much and what I am doing. As you say; take a step back, chill out, get that miniature, the massage that I so sorely need and relish in the fact that it is a me day!


  2. Cathy August 31, 2017 / 8:28 am

    Great post! Thank you for sharing. I agree with all you said…. for me I just have to ride out the crappy days. They always pass at some point. I hate the smile comment too more than I can even express!!! Seems like that phrase is more often directed at women than men…. I can’t imagine a man saying “smile… it’s not that bad” to another man…. in the work place or anywhere else! Thanks again for sharing.


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